


Smudges of Black

by xTarmanderx



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Brett has a dog, Brett has some self esteem issues, Brett is a personal trainer, Josh is a famous YouTuber, Josh is a loveable dork, M/M, silly boys in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:33:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22550287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xTarmanderx/pseuds/xTarmanderx
Summary: Brett's been pining over his favourite YouTuber for awhile now. His songs are so melancholic and deep and when Brett listens to his angelic voice, he is transported somewhere else. When JoshSings starts his own discord and posts about a contest for creating the coverart of his latest single, all of Brett's friends encourage him to enter.
Relationships: Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt, Garrett/Sean Walcott, Josh Diaz/Brett Talbot, Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 13
Kudos: 15





	Smudges of Black

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThiamHarpy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiamHarpy/gifts).



> Happy late Birthday to Dana, who prompted this fic! 
> 
> And special shoutout to Callum, Alicia, Mercy, and Sef for encouraging this and keeping me going.

Brett flops back on his bed with an exaggerated groan, staring up at the ceiling. At the foot of the bed, he hears his groan echoed and can’t help but chuckle. “I know, Nala. I know.” He says. The huskies head appears over the foot of his bed and cocks to the side, her tail wagging behind her. “Dog park?” He asks, smiling fondly as he entire body starts to shake.

He gets up, briefly lamenting the loss of his bed. He heads down the stairs of his loft, his pup hot on his heels. She barely sits long enough to get her leash on and tugs insistently, not caring in the slightest that Brett needs to put on his jacket and grab his keys. It’s a quick walk across the parking lot to the dog park where he lets her off, smiling as she runs straight for the dog tunnel and dives through it. It’s just the two of them this late at night and Brett doesn’t mind letting her run off some energy. If it helps her sleep through the night, he can handle a half hour or so sitting on a bench.

He pulls his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants and as soon as he unlocks it, a notification dings. His heart does a funny swoop as he sees an announcement from his favorite YouTuber and he opens the app, immediately opening up his subscriptions page. _’New Discord Server!!!’_ is listed over the picture of a man grinning from ear to ear, sunglasses hiding the dark eyes that Brett could sketch from memory alone. He skims the announcement, more than a little disappointed that it’s only a server announcement, and lays back on the bench. He loads up his favorite video, a Portuguese lullaby that he can’t understand, and lets the low murmur of the other man’s voice soothe him.

Brett doesn’t remember how long he’s been a fan of Josh Diaz. He knows it’s probably close to five years by now, but he can’t recall when exactly he became a fan. It had started with a suggested video in his feed of a cute boy playing with two dogs and Brett has been hooked ever since. The vlogs had changed into music and suddenly Josh was gaining fame and traction, going to awards shows and guest starring on other channels. Despite his rise in fame, Josh feels like a genuine human being. He’s always interacting with his fans in the comments, through Instagram stories, and every now and then through contests and other mediums. Brett has fallen head over heels with him a million times. He’s never once seen Josh be rude to someone even when he’s being criticised and attacked by others in the comments sections. Josh seems like the sweetest human being alive and in all these years, Brett hasn’t found the courage to say anything. He’s absolutely terrified that Josh will actually respond to him and he’s not sure how he feels about that. It would be incredible, but he also wonders if it will be a letdown. What if he’s spent so long building Josh up and a reply leaves him feeling disappointed?

As the song comes to an end, his discord lights up with a notification. He opens the app and immediately connects to the chat of his main server, exhaling loudly. “No,” he says as he’s immediately assault by an onslaught of voices. “I’m not doing it.”

“Dude,” Liam laughs and a couple others join in, “why not?”

“Subject myself to making a fool of myself in front of him and a few hundred other people? I’ll pass.” Brett snorts, rolling his eyes.

“You’re not going to make a fool of yourself,” Theo joins in. “No more than Liam does on a daily basis.” There’s a cry of outrage that makes Brett smile fondly and shake his head.

“If that was supposed to comfort me, it’s a hard pass.” He says.

“What if we all join together?” Mason asks after a beat. “Come on, Brett. This is your big chance! I heard that he’s got some big announcement coming and that’s where he’s posting it first!”

Brett hesitates for a moment at that. These guys have been his best friends since college, Liam since high school. They’d created the discord server the year before right after graduation as a way to keep in touch. They know Brett’s secrets, they’ve teased him mercilessly about his crush on the youtuber, and they’ve always encouraged him. He couldn’t ask for a better group of friends. Mason’s offer is sincere and if they weren’t all behind it, he never would have said anything. “Really?” He finally asks, voice soft.

“Really,” Corey says gently. A notification pops up in the general chat from _invisiboii_ with a link to the discord server. Brett’s finger hovers over it and he swallows hard, nodding his head.

“Brett?” Liam asks. “If you say anything stupid, I promise not to screenshot it and only laugh about it when I’m actually talking to you.” It wrenches a chuckle from Brett and he relaxes, smiling.

“Yeah,” he says after Mason urges for an answer. “Why the fuck not?” What has he got to lose?

He taps join server and it immediately opens him into a new chat. He briefly sees a welcome message for _fit &trainedlaxcap _ and groans. Why hadn’t he thought about changing it? It was something stupid Liam had made. His _smolwolfboy_ name was no better. Three more welcome messages pop up, _invisiboii, experimentinthesheets,_ and _AllIntense_ join a split second later. “Sean and Garrett coming too?” Brett asks. As if he summoned them, he hears a ding in the chat and _bitemebaby_ and _fangzzz_ appear in the server. “Took you guys long enough,” he teases.

“Fuck off, I couldn’t find my headphones and Sean was almost asleep.” Garrett huffs. “Then he saw the group message and woke up.”

“Can’t believe Brett grew his big boy balls,” Sean purrs, sounding half asleep. Brett rolls his eyes and swipes his green aside, surprised there are only 50 people on the server. The name _joshsingz_ is at the very top with a crown beside it and Brett’s stomach does a little flip. _Fuck._

“Bitch.” Brett says when he can’t think of a better retort. His name is immediately tagged on the new server along with his friends, reminding them to check out the rules and introduce themselves. He does as told, posting his first name, age, and that he’s a personal trainer living in SoCal. His friends introductions are all similar, save for Garrett and Sean who are currently living abroad in Scotland for a year while Garrett works a contract. He’s surprised they’re still awake, though it probably is just past two in the morning for them. They’ve stayed up later in their college days.

“Why are you guys still awake?” Mason asks, changing the topic. Brett opens up the general chat of the server and grimaces, seeing several messages begging for Josh’s attention. He retreats to the safety of his usual server and opens up the chat, whistling for Nala.

“We decided to do a pub crawl and got home an hour ago.” Garrett says around a yawn. “We were going straight to bed but-“

“I was horny and needed a good fuck,” Sean chuckles.

“I don’t want to hear about your sex life while I’m not getting laid,” Liam grumbles.

“Three weeks until Theo comes home, yeah?” Brett asks.

“Better be.” Liam whines. Theo chuckles softly.

“Soon, babe. Soon. Guys, I gotta jet. Pretty sure my aunt just pulled in the drive and I gotta help bring grandma in.” Theo says. The line disconnects as everyone bids him goodbye and just as quickly, Sean and Garrett are leaving as well.

“So what now?” Liam asks. “Oh, gross. Did you guys see what _jismyzaddy_ just posted?” Brett frowns and opens the other server, going back into the general chat. _cum in me I WANT BABIEZZZ_ was posted with a series of emojis posted after it and a myriad of reactions. Before Brett can blink, the name turns white and the message is gone.

“Gross,” Brett echoes with a disgusted shake of his head. “Hang on, guys.” He sits up, frowning. “Nala! I know you’re hiding and pretending you didn’t hear me call you a minute ago. Get over here!” He demands. A white and black head pokes out of the tunnel, bright blue eyes watching him. Brett fights the urge to smile, shaking his head as he sits upright. “Come on, girl. Papa’s gotta eat.” He says, whistling again.

“Give her plenty of pets from me and Mason!” Corey chirps. “We’re also going to run. Mason’s parents are in town and we promised to have dinner with them.”

“Have fun,” Liam and Brett chorus. They disappear from the chat and Brett gets to his feet, reaching for Nala’s leash. He clips her back on and heads back toward his loft, sighing. “Liam...” he begins.

“You are not backing out, Talbot. I’ve been scrolling through the server and he made a post about making his announcement within the hour. At least stay long enough to see what the buzz is about.” Liam says sternly.

“It’s not like I’m going to say anything. You know I’m terrible at this,” Brett huffs. He digs his keys from his pocket and unlocks the front door. Nala barely lets him take off her leash before she’s running for the kitchen, yipping the entire way. “I don’t know why I let myself be talked into this.”

“Because you’re a softie at heart and easy to manipulate.” Liam says. Brett can picture his smug grin and he wants to be on the field again, sweeping Liam’s legs out from under him with his lacrosse stick. “I’ve gotta go start dinner, but promise me you’ll stay on the server.”

“Fine. But you can’t make me say anything.” Brett grumbles. Too late-

“Challenge accepted.” Liam cackles and suddenly he’s gone, leaving Brett listening to his own breathing. He swears through his teeth and disconnects from the chat. He stares at his server options for a moment and finally clicks on the YouTube server which is named _JoshDiaz._

Most of the posts so far are fans begging for Josh to pay attention to them. He scrolls aimlessly through them as he walks into the kitchen, turning on the stove to preheat. There are a few people conversing about what they’re doing. The one thing that Brett notices is that none of the messages are from Josh. Despite the fact that he’s listed as online, he’s radio silent. Somehow, that brings Brett a sense of comfort.

He keeps the discord open while he does meal prep, pulling out a cutting board and setting up his salmon. Once it’s seasoned it goes into the oven and he grabs Nala’s empty bowl, filling it to the brim with food and plopping it down. She scarfs it down happily as finishes off her water, nosing at the bowl with a whimper when she’s out. Brett fills it back up and goes to sit at the table, taking a look around his living room. He’s got a couple of posters hanging on the walls, but he’s most proud of his art corner. It’s the one hobby he hasn’t had to give up. He’s got a multi-level desk that has drawers of different paints and sketchbooks and every tool he’s acquired over the last eight years. He taps his fingers against the table, a restless energy filling him. Maybe tonight will be a good night to break in the charcoals he’d bought last month. He wants to create. He misses it. 

The timer goes off in the kitchen and he gets his dinner, Nala resting at his feet. He doesn’t give discord another thought until he’s on his last bite of salmon and a notification goes off. Frowning, he unlocks his phone and loads up the message. It’s an announcement from Josh with everyone tagged. There’s a link to a brand new video and Josh has two sets of directions, one in Portuguese and one in English: _Hey everyone! Just dropped a new song for you guys and decided on a little contest. I’ve seen some amazing art come from you all and I would love to see you create a piece of cover art based on this song! Lyrics are posted below and the winner will be able to do an instagram video meet with me. Can’t wait to see all that you create! :heart_eyes:_

Brett clicks the link without hesitation. It’s Josh sitting on a stool with his guitar across his lap, long hair hanging in his face. He hums along for a moment and lifts his head to toss back his hair, the first quiet words escaping. This song is in English for once, a rarity on the channel when it isn’t a cover song. Brett closes his eyes and leans back, trying to pull apart the lyrics as he takes it in. He restarts the video twice before he’s able to sing along, though he doesn’t think he’s anywhere close to being talented like Josh. The song is beautiful. It’s slow, a little sad, and the lyrics are painful when he really listens. It’s about wildflowers dying as the seasons change, but it’s so much more. It’s about loss and letting go and it makes Brett’s heart ache. 

Brett puts the video on a loop and gets up to wash his dishes, casting a glance at the clock above the stove. It’s just after 7 and he doesn’t have any early appointments the next morning with clients. He can break in his charcoals. And maybe, just maybe, it will help ease some of his nerves. He gives Nala a rawhide treat that will keep her entertained and goes to his art desk, turning on the overhead lamp. He clears away his last project, a half-finished sketch of Nala’s profile, and pulls out one of his sketchbooks and the charcoal set. Nala brings her bone to his feet and begins chewing away, her tail thumping against his leg. Smiling, he turns up the music and gets to work. 

The first few sketches are rough. He smudges charcoal lines and breaks off a corner, which only adds to his annoyance. He manages to get a rough outline of a lake and a mountain rising in the background, an outline of a fire hydrant, and a chair with a shadow smudged in before he decides to try something else. He doesn’t know what exactly he wants to create, but he wants to make something for Josh’s song. The emotion it pulls out of him is raw and he needs a way to release that. 

He starts off small, sketching and smudging someone laying down on their stomach. He crosses the ankles of the figure and tucks one arm under the person’s stomach so he doesn’t have to worry about hands or feet. As he adds in the subtle shadowing under the figure, he takes a moment to study the face. He hasn’t added in details yet, but he’s not sure that he wants to. He finally settles on a soft slope of a nose and a hint of full lips, the face half angled toward him. The rest of the face is hidden by long hair, only one eye peeking out. 

He adds clouds next, just a few spirals in the sky that give the sketch an air of confusion. He darkens them with shadows and smudges, grimacing as he goes off the paper more than once and smears charcoal across his desk. It’s the only thing he hates about this medium. It gets everywhere despite his best efforts. He makes a mental note to wipe the surface down before bed and rubs tiredly at his face, stifling a yawn against the back of his hand. He doesn’t know how long he’s been sketching, but the room around him has darkened since he started. He doesn’t look at the clock yet, too afraid that he’ll need to go to bed. He needs to finish this piece. 

Next come the wildflowers. He doesn’t know how many he draws, but they’re all different. They’re all drawn at varying stages of life and decay, curling inward toward the figure on the ground. He creates a half-circle that goes off the page and adds more shadows across the ground, smudging lines for grass as he goes. The flowers are like a heavy shadow creeping closer, looming in a sinister fashion. What feels like hours later he finishes, lifting his head to look at his masterpiece. 

It’s nowhere near perfect. There are smudges across the paper that cross over the shapes he’s made and take away from the effect, but it’s a nice start. He wants to spend more time outlining the boy in the middle of the field, who is starting to look a lot like Josh. Brett didn’t intend for that to happen, but it’s not the first time that he’s sketched Josh. The man has a face that begs to be drawn, all soft lines and curves that make Brett’s smile light up. 

He pushes back from his desk with a quiet groan, rolling his shoulders back. Nala sleepily shuffles from underneath the desk and he bends down, absently patting her on the head. He leaves black specks of charcoal behind and grimaces, rubbing his hands together. It spreads the mess further as he heads to the kitchen, turning on the sink with his elbow. A glance at the clock makes him freeze in place, cold water trickling across his palms. It’s just after midnight according to the numbers in bright red above his stove. “Fuck.” He can’t remember the last time he was so absorbed in something. He cleans up and grabs a handful of paper towels, going back to clean up his desk and put the charcoals away. He cuts the lamp and takes Nala outside, grateful she’s too sleepy to run when he can’t be bothered with a leash. As Brett finally crawls into bed for the night, he can’t shake the feeling of satisfaction sinking into his bones. 

\- 

The next day drags by. Brett spends the majority of his time with clients and manages to get in his own workout during the last hour of the workday. Josh’s song has been on loop in his head all day and he’d downloaded it at lunch and listened to it nonstop. By the time he gets home, he knows every word and he’s pretty sure he could play the beginning if he really tried to remember the chords. It’s consumed him all day and he wants to get back to his charcoal sketch and make a second attempt. He can do better. He has to do better. 

By the time Nala is fed and Brett’s cleaned his own dishes, he takes a seat at his desk and picks up the charcoal again. He’s barely pressed it to paper when his phone lights up, a call coming in through discord. He answers and puts it on speaker, rolling his eyes. “What do you want?” He asks, drawing and smudging the first line. 

“Hey! Rude to think that we want something,” Liam huffs. Theo and Mason chuckle across the line, bringing a grin to Brett’s lips. “We just saw that you didn’t leave the server. We are the most proud.” 

“Fuck off,” Brett says without any real bite to it. 

“Rude. We just wanted to know if you listened to the song. It’s in English this time-“ 

“And I know every word and the tune by now,” Brett admits. He can feel the flush creeping along his jawline. “I also...started something last night.” 

Someone sucks in a breath across the line. “Are you entering the contest? Please say yes. Please. I need more of your amazing art in my life-“ Corey begins. The others immediately overlap him in agreement and Brett picks up his phone. He takes a picture of the other sketch he’s done and sends in to their chat, the blush spreading down his chest. Everyone goes quiet. 

“Holy-“ 

“Oh my god-“ 

“Fucking beautiful-“ 

“So somber and dark-“ 

“Shit.” They all overlap and Brett continues to flush, pleased that he’s invoked that kind of response. It’s not often that he gets praised for his work. It’s not like he shows it off very much either. He’s got a secret Instagram account where he posts the occasional sketch and abstract painting, but it has less than thirty followers and he hasn’t posted in almost six months. 

“Tell me you’re going to post that for the contest,” Liam begs after a beat. Brett sets his phone down and the charcoal as well, chewing his lip. 

“I don’t know,” he admits. There’s an immediate uproar and he rolls his eyes, waiting for the chatter to calm back down. “I need to redo a few parts of it. I was sitting and just about to start a second attempt when you guys calls.” 

“Ooh, will you do a time lapse video for us?” Corey asks. “I miss watching the master at work.” It brings another flush to Brett’s face and he’s pretty sure he’ll never stop at this rate. They’d spent many late nights holed up in Brett’s room cramming for exams or studying plays for lacrosse games. He’d always doodled during their breaks and he’d inevitably drawn their attention, all watching as he brought something to life. 

“Maybe,” he hedges after a moment. “I don’t really know how to do it on my phone...” 

“You could always set up your camera to record and then edit it.” Mason offers up. “Or film with an actual camera and send it to me and I can edit it for you.” 

“I’m sending you a YouTube link with instructions.” Corey says. 

“I could probably talk you through it,” Theo adds with an affirmation from Liam. 

“I think I’ll take Mason up on his offer. Less work for me,” Brett chuckles and scratches the back of his neck. He pulls his hand away to find charcoal smeared across his fingertips and he scowls. “Fuck. I didn’t tell you guys. I fucking woke up this morning looking like a raccoon because I’d smeared this stuff all other my face last night. Woke up with my pillowcase ruined and it was everywhere.” 

“You didn’t wash your hands when you were done?” Liam snickers. 

“I did before I went to bed. But I must have touched my face while I was working. I did the same thing to Nala and accidentally got it in her fur. Not that she cared.” Brett snorts and shakes his head. “All right, I’ll do it. Just for you, Cor.” He gets to his feet and heads to the kitchen, washing his hands and damping a few paper towels. He drops them at his work area and jogs upstairs to find his old camera. Thankfully it doesn’t need to be charged, all he has to do is pop in a couple of fresh batteries. 

“I knew you loved me best.” Corey says. “Did you guys hear about the new beta release of that shooter game...” Brett stops listening at that point, shaking his head as he goes and sets up his equipment. Video games have never been his thing. He doesn’t mind watching, especially when Josh plays and swears beautifully in Portuguese when he dies, but he’s never been a decent player. 

Brett adjusts his camera on top of a book and angles it down so his sketching can clearly be seen. When he’s satisfied with the setting, he sits down and picks up the charcoal again. “All right. If I stop responding, I’ve probably dropped dead.” He jokes. 

“I can’t wait to see the end results. You’d better email the footage before bed,” Corey jokes. 

“I will, I will. Tell me what’s been going on with you guys lately.” Brett says. He lets the murmur of the day-to-day wash over him as he starts to resume sketching and focuses on what he’s doing. He decides to do the shading and shadowing when he’s closer to being done and outlines everything first, adjusting the angles and perception as he goes. 

He’s just finishing the half circle of wildflowers when Liam yells his name, startling him back to awareness. He scrubs at his face and grimaces, hoping he’ll remember to wash it off this time. 

“Yeah?” He asks, glancing around the room. Fuck. When had it gotten so dark? 

“Dude! You totally missed it! We were chatting and trolling the rabid fan girls in the server and Theo gave the _best_ reply ever and Josh emoji reacted to it!” Liam says. Brett scrambles to unlock his phone and load the chat, ignoring his low battery warning that pops up. There are several messages back and forth between Josh and his friends, just casual greetings mostly and everyone saying what they’re up to. His gaze drops to where it says Josh is typing and he holds his breath, waiting for the next message to come through. 

_AMA?_ Josh has written. Brett flicks his screen to the side to see that almost all of the server is offline and his heartbeat quickens. Do they really have Josh all to themselves? 

“He’s so lucky the girls went to bed,” Liam says. 

“They’re probably off crying because Theo was mean.” Mason says around a laugh. 

“Be nice to the twelve-year-olds. They’re just excited to talk to him. Even if they are crazy,” Brett chides gently. 

“What should we ask him about?” Theo asks. “Ask me anything is pretty open...” Brett nods absently, a million questions coming to mind. He wants to know what advice Josh would give to his fans about following their dreams. His favorite book, his favorite weather, what he likes to listen to when he’s just lounging around the house or casually driving around town. He wants to know what smells invoke the strongest memories and what they are. He had a million questions, but he can’t ask any of them. He doesn’t know how. 

“Have you played sports? If so, what kind?” Liam mumbles to himself. The question appears in chat a moment later. 

_football. well, soccer. you americans always change things_ shows up a moment later with a wink after it. Brett can’t help but chuckle. 

“Can you guys read this out to me while I work? I’m so close to being done.” He says, glancing back at his sketch. As much as he’s dying to watch the chat happen, he also wants to finish his piece. 

“I’m going to ask about video games and what he likes to play.” Mason declares. “Yeah, you keep doing your art thing. We’ve got this covered.” He assures. 

Smiling to himself and quietly thanking his friends, Brett picks up his charcoal again and gets to work. As he starts to do lines again, Mason starts to tell him about Josh’s answer. He learns that the other man really likes to write lullabies and sing them to his cousins when he babysits, he loves the color purple and full moon nights, and he’s into poetry and wishes to one day publish a book of his own. He learns that Josh broke his collarbone falling out of a tree while his best friend laughed at him because he was too scared to climb down and she pulled on his leg and he jumped. His favorite place that he’s traveled to is Patagonia and he wants to go back and hike more of the trails and spend a couple of weeks there. He’s got a sweet tooth when it comes to key lime pie and his first ever pet was a cat named Phil. His favorite flowers are peonies because they remind him of his mother and he’s a Pepsi fan because of Mountain Dew, but he really does prefer Coke overall. He knows how to juggle and pick a lock, a skill that proved useful when he got locked out of the house when he was a teenager and it was snowing. He doesn’t know how to whistle, but he can make his eyebrows dance and he can play the harmonica. Brett is pretty sure he’s fallen impossibly more in love. 

“Josh says he’s got time for one more question and then he’s off to bed,” Liam says.

“Ask him if he has any tattoos.” Brett requests, putting the finishing touch on his art. 

“Why don’t you ask him?” Theo quips. Brett can picture him grinning and raising an eyebrow. 

“My hands are covered in charcoal dust and my phone is almost dead.” Brett says, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“I told him you just needed a minute. He’s waiting.” Liam sounds positively gleeful and Brett chokes as a notification lights up his phone. Liam has tagged him by username. Of course he has, that prick. Brett kind of wants to strangle him.

“Liam, I can’t.” Brett whines, getting up from his desk. “I’m going to embarrass myself. I can’t talk to him.” 

“Well, it’s too late. He said it’s no trouble to wait.” Liam replies, not sounding the least bit sympathetic. Brett wipes his hands with the dampened paper towels he’d grabbed earlier and picks up his phone, carrying it with him to the kitchen. 

“What have you go to lose, Brett? Come on. It’s not like you’re being weird about it.” Corey tells him. “Go for it and ask.” A chorus of agreement comes from his other friends and Brett hangs his head, running his hands under the tap. When had he become such a coward? Josh is just another man. A man that Brett is completely attracted to and is smitten with, but a man nonetheless. He can do this, right? 

“I hate every last one of you.” He declares before drying his hands and unlocking his phone. He brings up the chat and cautiously taps out his question, hitting send before he can think too much. To his surprise, Josh is still online and typing a response. 

joshsingz: _I’ll tell you on one condition. explain wtf a laxcap is to me_ followed by a frowning emoji appears. Brett’s heartbeat kicks up and Liam and Mason burst into laughter. 

_lax=lacrosse. I was lacrosse captain in high school and college. My friend made this account for me and it’s his dumb joke_ is what he ends up replying. Josh responds with a crying and laughing emoji almost instantly. 

joshsingz: _omg i love it. your friend is witty. the answer is no, not yet. looking for the right art to get_

“Hear that? He thinks I’m witty.” Liam snickers and taps out a thanks. Shaking his head, Brett returns to his art desk to clean up and cuts off the camera. He pulls the memory card to send the footage to Mason and starts up to his bedroom, whistling for Nala to follow. “Wash your face this time,” Liam reminds as Brett tells them he’s going to bed. He plugs in his phone at the bedside table and disconnects from the chat, smiling as Josh sends a message to them all saying good night and that he’s enjoyed talking to them. Brett falls asleep with a smile on his face. 

\- 

Brett wakes with a dull throb in his skull. He groans and rolls out of bed, shuffling tiredly toward the stairs. Nala yips and follows him down, filled with way too much energy at the early hour. It takes Brett three times to get her leash clipped on, his hands shaking in front of him. He needs water and something to nibble on. He’s not sure he can keep anything down, but he can’t go into work with nothing on his stomach. 

His morning doesn’t get any better. The pain behind his eyes worsens as he makes himself toast and gets Nala her breakfast. He feels like a newborn kitten as he drags himself up the stairs, clutching at the railing when his vision blurs. A part of him knows that he should call out sick. His migraine is only going to worsen. But he only has two clients today and it’s not like he’s going to be the one working out. He can direct them just fine and then come home early and crawl under the covers. 

His first client for the day is late. Brett is restless and irritable when the woman finally shows up, snapping and pushing her harder than strictly necessary through her warmup routine. He can tell he’s off his game when the other trainers give him wary looks throughout the day and steer clear of him. When he gets through his next client and his workday draws closer to an end, his head is throbbing and he wants someone to run him over with a semi. 

As he’s getting ready to clock out, his manager calls an emergency meeting. He is forced to sit through two years of complaints from management about people not taking proper care of the facility and to not park like assholes or litter and a million other housekeeping things that could have been summarized in an email. Brett kind of wants to gouge out his eyes and ears by the end of it. He’s feeling horribly nauseous, has thrown up twice since he got to work, and he just wants to get home and cuddle with Nala and die in his comfy bed. 

The drive home is torture. Brett keeps having to scrub tears from his eyes because the pain is unbearable. He gets inside and is grateful that Nala does a quick walk with him, not crying or begging to stay out any longer. He goes inside and feeds her, grabbing a protein bar for himself as he stumbles up the stairs. He strips down so he can shower, slapping blindly at the handles and putting on the water as hot as he can stand it. Nothing helps. 

When the water runs cold, he dries off and goes to see if there’s any kind of headache medicine in his nightstand. He’s lucky he has three pills left and downs them all, flopping down face first against the mattress with a groan. He wants to die. The meds aren’t going to kick in for at least half an hour so he pulls out his phone, checking his messages. He has an excited email from Mason gushing about the finished work and he taps out a quick reply, saying he can post it to the chat. He follows up with a quick discord message to say that he isn’t feeling well and he’s going to bed and promptly puts his phone on do not disturb. He burrows his head under his pillow and groans, curling in on his side. The throbbing doesn’t quite stop, but he screws his eyes shut and begs the gods for mercy. He doesn’t sleep well that night. 

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he’s feeling better. The ache is gone and Nala is curled up against his stomach, looking up at him with worried eyes. He scratches the top of her head and takes her outside, going for a light jog around the neighbourhood with her in tow. She isn’t the best running partner, too easily distracted most of the time, but he’s confident he can train her to be better. When he gets home, he makes himself eat a bowl of cereal before going back to sleep. 

His alarm wakes him up early the next morning and he stretches out, Nala yawning loudly as she’s nudged by his knee. He slaps at it with his hand and picks up his phone, releasing a yawn of his own as he properly turns off the alarm and unlocks his phone. There’s an immediate barrage of notifications across every social media platform and his jaw goes slack. What the hell is going on? He rolls onto his side, Nala wriggling in behind his knees, and opens his discord where there’s the highest volume of tags. 

The first one he opens is a dm from Mason that just says: _i am so sorry, i didn’t know it would be like this!!!_

“The fuck?” He asks, swiping over to see who his other dm is from. His blood runs cold at the sight of Josh’s username, heart pounding hard against his ribs. He opens the message to Mason and fires back one of his own: _what did you do????_ He opens the YouTube discord and finds his name tagged half a dozen times, showering him in compliments. He scrolls and scrolls through what feels like endless messages until he sees a video Mason posted and he lets out an embarrassing noise. He’s going to kill him. 

A second alarm goes off, alerting him that he needs to start getting ready for work, and he swears through his teeth. He doesn’t have time for this. He’ll deal with Mason later, right now he has to take care of Nala before he leaves for the day. He hurries to brush his teeth and throw on a new pair of clothes, spritzing himself with cologne before he jogs downstairs. Nala appears when he’s getting his second sneaker on and he rushes her outside, grateful that she does all of her business and doesn’t make a fuss about the short walk. He’ll come back on his lunch break and take her out again, for now he’s gotta run. 

He’s distracted for most of the day, his phone burning a hole in his pocket. He hasn’t dared to open his message from Josh. It can’t possibly be good. Is he being kicked out of the server? Had Mason said something stupid about him? Whatever his friends had done, Brett was going to kill them. He had no idea how they were responsible, but he would find out. He just hoped that Josh would forget all about him and whatever happened as soon as he left the server. 

Brett gets home and takes Nala out to the dog park, relieves that he’s by himself. He sits down on the bench and opens discord, staring at the message notification from Josh. He’s absolutely terrified to open it. He checks Mason’s first, rolling his eyes as he sees the apology for posting Brett’s video. It’s all starting to make a little more sense. Drawing in a deep breath, he summons up his courage and opens Josh’s message 

joshsingz: _hey. please tell me that you’re entering your drawing into my contest. please?_ is the first message that was sent. The second: _sorry to be forward but was that a dog i saw?? can i see her???_ with a series of emojis following after it, most frowning and pleading in some way. It’s kind of adorable. 

_I do have a dog, actually. Her name is Nala and she’s a 4 month old husky._ Brett replies, clicking his tongue. Nala appears almost instantly, her entire body wagging. He laughs and snaps a picture zoomed in of her face, sending it to Josh. _This is my little brat._

Josh’s icon turns green a moment later, his name appearing as he starts to reply. _she is the cutest thing ever and i would die for her!!!!! tell her i love her so much and give her lots of pets_ comes through the chat a moment later. Brett’s stomach does a little flip. 

fit&trainedlaxcap: _I will definitely give her lots of love and affection._

joshsingz: _also i noted that you did not answer my question. are you submitting your art for the contest?_

Brett hesitates at that, chewing the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t have a clear cut answer for that. It’s not like he created the sketch specifically for the contest. He’d drawn it with the song in mind, but he hadn’t really had any intention of submitting it. With Josh asking, it feels like he can’t say no. 

fit&trainedlaxcap: _Should I?_

He knows the contest is going to last for a week. Surely there are more talented creators out there and Josh will pick one of them. Still, he’s flattered and utterly shocked that his idol is suddenly talking to him about his dog and about his art. His friends are going to go crazy when they find out. 

joshsingz: _if you don’t, that would make me sad. i would love to see the final result. I have never seen someone work so hard on something and not even notice a dog._

Brett has to go back to the video and watch it, surprised that Nala indeed makes an appearance about halfway through. She puts her paws up on his desk in the video and he had apparently patted her on the head, smearing charcoal against her fur before she got down. He can’t even remember her doing that. 

fit&trainedlaxcap: _I don’t even remember her being there. I was kind of in the zone. My friends had to keep yelling to get my attention in our chat._

joshsingz: _i get that way. gotta run, but here is the link to the contest. i sincerely hope that you consider submitting. and please send me more Nala pictures bc she is precious and i love her._

The link appears and Brett bites back a smile, sending a thumbs up. He opens his server with his friends and tags everyone, connecting to the chat. A notification chimes a moment later and Mason is spewing apologies, barely breathing as he starts to barrage Brett. He chuckles and waits for Mason to suck in a breath, shaking his head. “Don’t be sorry. I think you actually did me a favor.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“What kind of favor?” Liam asks. 

“I did?” Mason asks. Brett can picture his quizzical frown perfectly, his brows pinched. 

“Josh messaged me about my art. Well, really it was about Nala, but then he asked me to enter my art in the contest.” Brett says as quickly as possible, his friends immediately starting to overlap with their cries of excitement and questions. “It wasn’t a full fledged conversation, but he wants me to submit my art. And he wants to see more pictures of Nala.” 

“Dude! This is it! This is exactly where you fall in love with your soulmate!” Mason exclaims. 

“Or this is where you freak him out and he never wants to talk to you again,” Theo says. 

“Theo!” Liam, Mason, and Corey chorus in anger. 

“I’m just being realistic-“ 

“Why do you have the be the world’s biggest asshole-“ 

“Brett actually talked to him, don’t you want to encourage that-“ 

“Guys!” Brett cuts in with a laugh. “Listen, I appreciate the concern. I just...let’s start with just talking and see how it goes.” He says softly. 

“And your art? Are you going to enter it?” Liam demands. 

“I don’t know. Maybe. It’s not like I’m going to win, there’s five more days for the contest and plenty of more talented artists out there.” Brett bites down on his lip again. “You think I should?” 

“Josh clearly saw something he liked in that video and, no offense, but it couldn’t have been much of you. He likes your art.” Corey says gently. Brett knows it’s true. He saw the back of his head for most of the video and his hands creating the sketch. There wasn’t much else to go on aside from Nala’s brief intrusion. 

“I guess it can’t hurt...” Brett begins hesitantly. He needs to touch up the piece and maybe do a third attempt, but overall he was pretty satisfied with his second try. “Mason, thank you for the video.” He says softly. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would be happening. As scared as he is, he’s also just a little more excited and eager to see how it plays out.

“Dude. Any time.” 

\- 

Brett spends a couple of hours editing the sketch and finally takes a picture and submits it before he can get cold feet. He sends a message to Josh letting him know that he’s done it before he goes to bed. When his alarm wakes him up in the morning, it’s to a series of exclamation points from Josh and a request for more photos of Nala. Brett angles his camera to where she’s sprawled across his chest and snaps a pic, sending it without thought. It isn’t until he takes a second glance that he realizes Josh is getting a glimpse of his bare chest. It leaves him flushed and nervous, but Josh only comments on how precious Nala is and Brett can breathe a little easier. 

By the time Brett showers and heads to work, he has about ten heart eye emojis from Josh and a million exclamation points. He can’t wipe the grin from his face as he walks into the gym, whistling to himself as he waves at his coworkers. They all give him an odd look, no doubt remembering his demeanor the day before, and Brett can’t really blame them. He sneaks a look at his phone before he has to put it in his locker and sends Josh an update, letting him know he’ll talk to him later and send more pictures when he can. Josh sends him a thumbs up and Brett goes off to work, feeling happier than he has in days. 

The rest of the week passes in a similar fashion. He doesn’t carry any full conversations with Josh, just a few messages sent throughout the day. Their schedules never seem to line up for them to fully talk. Brett sends pictures of Nala in various poses around his house and Josh fawns over each one, gushing about how cute she is. He sends a picture of his own pets, a cat named Liz and a dog named Cass. When Brett asks about the origins, Josh doesn’t answer immediately. He finally confesses the next day that the names are short for Lizard and Casserole and Brett swears he loves the dork a little bit more. 

Friday night Josh holds a livestream on YouTube to announce the contest winner. Brett lets it play as he starts his dinner, chopping up carrots and tossing every other piece onto the floor for Nala. “Hey, guys!” Josh greets warmly. “First of all, I wanted to say thank you to all of my wonderful fans who submitted something for this contest. The level of talent out there is absolutely insane! I’m blown away by what you have created for me and I am deeply humbled. Choosing a winner was an impossible task and so I enlisted the help of my friends just to be fair. And we all agreed on one piece that was truly outstanding. It felt like it was speaking right to my soul.” Brett nods absently, thinking of an oil painting of wildflowers slowly burning that someone had posted. It’s a guarantee to win. 

“As I said in my last post, the winner is going to have a chance to talk with me on Instagram live tomorrow afternoon. So, a drumroll!” Josh taps his fingers rapidly against a table and grins widely. “Fit&trainedlaxcap from discord! And in case none of you knew either, I found out that lax stands for lacrosse.” Josh laughs loudly, looking immensely pleased. “Brett, you’ll be receiving an email with some instructions and your art will be posted to my website for everyone to see. Thanks again for all of the submissions! You’re all so talented. I’ll see you next time!” The video cuts off a second later and Brett slices down, catching his finger. 

“Fuck!” Yanking his hand back, he cradled it to his chest and scrambled over to the sink. He runs cold water and slides his hand under it, swearing again as it stings. The cut isn’t deep enough to warrant a hospital visit, but it fucking hurts and he’s more than a little pissed with himself. But how could he keep calm when Josh made an announcement like that?! How had Brett won?! 

Just as he wraps a paper towel around his finger, his phone blows up with notifications. He answers the discord call and puts in on speaker, retrieving the knife to wash under the sink. “Yeah yeah, I heard-“ he growls out, glaring back at his cutting board. Goddamn carrots. 

“YOU FUCKING WON AND YOU DIDN’T CALL US IMMEDIATELY?!” Liam’s shout makes Brett wince, a flush staining his cheeks. 

“I was busy trying not to cut my finger off!” He fires back. 

“WHO CARES?! YOU WON! FUCKER. YOU WON!” Liam exclaims, impossibly louder. 

“I did.” Brett says softly, a weak laugh escaping him. He won. He had an opportunity to talk to Josh and hold an actual conversation with him. The thought fills him with both excitement and dread. What are they supposed to talk about? How is he supposed to be face to face with his idol? 

“I fucking knew you would! Seriously, I checked out the competition and it was WEAK.” 

“Your faith in me is great and all but what the fuck do I do now? I can’t talk to him.” Brett swallows down the sudden lump in his throat. “I can’t-“ 

“Yes, you can! You’ve been telling us all week about how you guys have been talking back and forth. You’ve seen pictures of his pets and you guys are sending memes back and forth and he’s asking about your day and you’re bonding! This is the same kind of conversation but with your voices.” Liam says, sounding as though he’s explaining things to a small child. Brett wants to throttle him.

“That’s the whole problem, Liam. Josh is fucking perfect. His voice, his looks, everything about him. When he sees me...” Brett trails off quietly and Liam sighs. 

“When he sees you, he’s going to fall in love. Dork.” Liam chuckles softly. “Blue eyes, soft curls, and a heart of gold. Fucking abs of the gods, you can reach the top shelf, need I go on?” 

“Fuck you,” Brett laughs. 

“Nah, that’s Theo’s job.” Liam says. “Listen. Just be yourself. He already likes you and he adores your dog.” 

“I’m going to call you tomorrow in a panic.” Brett says, chewing the corner of his lip.

“That’s okay. I’ll be here to kick your ass and remind you that you’re pretty fucking awesome. That’s what best friends are for.” Liam says. The line disconnects a moment later and Brett hangs up, exhaling shakily. He gets a series of messages of congrats from the others who can’t join the chat, but a message from Josh is what catches his attention. 

joshsingz: _congrats!! what time is good for you tomorrow? i can do any time before 4 bcuz i have a hair appointment and if i miss it or am late i will be yelled at a lot_

Brett thinks it over for longer than necessary. He tells Josh they can do 1 in his time. That’s plenty of time to get lunch and try and settle his nerves. He already knows he doesn’t want to do the call at his house. Nala will be too much of a distraction and he doesn’t really want to share her with thousands of strangers. He can go to the deli downtown for a quick bite and settle in at the bakery next door. If the weather’s nice, he can sit outside and sketch some to calm his nerves. 

He goes to bed with butterflies nesting in his stomach and a smile on his face. 

\- 

Five minutes before the Instagram live, Brett calls Liam. 

“I can’t do this.” 

“Hang up the phone, Brett. Isn’t your video supposed to be like...now?” 

“What if he doesn’t like me? Or all I do is drool all over him? I can barely form a sentence when talking about him. Talking to him? It’s fucking insane.” Brett says in a rush, his cheeks darkening. 

“What’s insane is this lack of confidence, Brett. You are fucking amazing. You’ve never in your life been so insecure about something. Is this...is this about him?” Liam’s voice softens and Brett’s chest goes tight. 

“No,” he says in a small voice. Liam doesn’t say anything for a beat and Brett sighs heavily. “...maybe.” 

“He was fucking wrong and I wish you’d let me thrash his face in.”

“You’re lucky he didn’t press charges for assault.” Brett reminds. 

“He didn’t press charges because Mason had it on video. He threw the first punch. Not my fault that my comebacks are so good.” Brett laughs at that and shakes his head. “Listen. You’re my best friend and I say this because I love you. Hang up the goddamn phone and get on insta because your boy just went live and I want to see your pretty face with his. Love you!” The line clicks a moment later and Brett hastily taps the app, clicking on the live video. He gets a notification a second later about being invited and swallows his nerves, clicking accept. 

Josh is flashing him his mega watt smile, dark chocolate eyes widening as Brett’s Instagram connects to the video. “ _Deus_ ,” Brett hears him breathe out. He tries to smile, feeling his heart in his throat. “Olà.” He says, relieved when his voice doesn’t immediately break. Josh’s lips part and he lets out a shaky laugh, pink tongue flicking against the corner of his lips. 

“Brushing up on your Portuguese, I see.” Josh says with another chuckle. “It’s really nice to see you in person, Brett. Congratulations on winning the contest.” His voice is pure velvet and Brett can’t believe it’s being directed at him. How did he get so lucky? 

“I still can’t believe I won.” Brett admits, his own weak laugh escaping. “Thank you for everything.” He doesn’t want to mention that Josh is the one who persuaded him to enter, afraid that other fans will take it the wrong way. “I still can’t believe I’m sitting here talking to you.” He says, chewing the inside of his cheek. Unlike Brett, Josh looks like he’s inside and sitting on a leather couch. “Can I ask...why?” 

“You mean why did I choose your art?” Josh asks. Brett nods and leans back in his chair, adjusting his grip on his phone. “Easy. It spoke to me. It was like you saw exactly what I was feeling when I wrote the song. It was somber and dark but there was still a hopeful tone. The flowers are dying, but the man is still watching them and appreciating their life. Tell me, was the man in the field supposed to be me?” 

“I...don’t know.” Brett confesses. “It could be. I couldn’t get the song out of my head when I heard it. It was full of pain.” He bites down on his lip. “Can I ask...why did you write it? What’s it really about?” 

“What do you think it’s about?” Josh returns, raising an eyebrow. 

“Loss. And refusing to give up hope. Maybe it’s about continuing to live even though you lose the people around you.” Brett murmurs. He’s thought about it a lot, every time he listens to the song. The melody haunts him. 

“You mentioned that in your submission. You were one of the only people that did.” Josh murmurs. “Yeah, it’s about loss. I lost a pretty close family member. I wrote the song when I was trying to figure out how to cope.” He runs a hand back through his hair, his grin widening to the point that Brett knows it must be fake. “But enough about me and my song. I want to know about you. How long have you been doing art?” 

“Since I was in middle school. I needed some kind of outlet. I was getting into fights all the time and I had this amazing teacher who pulled me aside and told me to get my shit together. I picked up a pencil and never really stopped.” Brett says, scratching the back of his neck. 

“And is charcoal your favorite medium to use?” Josh asks. 

“No. Watercolors are my favorite, or maybe oil. But oil is expensive and can be pretty messy. I had just bought the charcoal set that I used and I was pretty excited to break it in. I wasn’t even going to submit my creation, my friends pretty much talked me into it.” Brett says. “Have you ever done art?” 

“Not since elementary school and I was terrible at drawing stick figures. My teacher suggested in the nicest way possible that I should probably stick to music.” Josh chuckles. 

“Have you always played music?” 

“Since I was little. My mom...I grew up with her playing the violin and my dad would play the guitar every Friday night. I was completely mesmerized by it.” 

“So why lullabies? You said those are your favorite to sing, right? Why not other things?” 

“My mom always sang them to me. When she passed away a few years ago, I just started singing them to keep her memory alive. I wasn’t even going to upload the first video, but one of my best friends suggested it. She thought it would be a good release for me. She helped set everything up and I just started posting on social media. Then my videos started being shared and suddenly I was posting full covers to YouTube. And for the last two years I’ve been writing my own stuff.” Josh says, his smile sincere and soft at the edges. Brett’s stomach swoops at the sight. He’d give anything to see that smile in person. 

“Have you ever thought about getting gigs in towns? Like going to coffee shops or performing on the street?” Brett asks curiously. 

“Actually, I’m in the process of looking for something just like that.” Josh says. “It’s been a dream of mine since I was a kid and now that I’m making my own music, I’d love to do something more. You know what I mean?” 

“Chasing dreams.” Brett says, nodding his head. He drops his gaze to the comments and hearts that have been flying across the screen, taking notice of them for the first time. Most are saying hi or asking Josh for some kind of shoutout, but Brett can see his friends names pass by and a few comments on his looks. He flushes at that and Josh takes notice, smirking. 

“Why don’t we answer some questions? Let my fans get to know a little bit more about both of us.” Josh says. “Ask away.” 

“You’re going to regret that. My best friends are watching and they’re all assholes.” Brett says, winking at the camera. “Hey guys.” 

“ _Smolwolfboy_ wants to know how long you’ve been a fan of mine.” Josh says with a laugh. “Is that-“ 

“ _Liam_ ,” Brett growls out. 

“Well?” Josh bounces a brow, looking far too amused. “How long, Brett? The fans are dying to know.” 

“Someone’s gonna die all right,” Brett mutters under his breath. From the string of laughing emojis from his friends, he wasn’t discreet. “I don’t know when I discovered you. It’s been a few years. Since...junior year of high school, maybe? I was just scrolling through YouTube and saw a video in my suggested feed of a guy playing with puppies. That’s how I discovered your channel. It was still pretty small back then, probably less than a couple hundred followers.” He says, blush staining his cheeks. 

“That’s...” Josh doesn’t say anything else for a moment and Brett feels a little sick. Before he can spiral and read into it, the other man’s smile impossibly widens. “Wow. I think I remember that video. We must be the same age then, you might be a year younger.” 

“Probably.” Brett says. He knows for a fact that he’s six months younger than Josh, but he doesn’t admit to that. “If you could get any tattoo, what would it be?” He asks, pulling a question from the chat. “That sounds like it’s for you. I’ve got my own tattoos.” He says with a grin. 

“How many do you have?” Josh asks. 

“Uh....six, I think.” Brett says after a moment. 

“You _think_?” 

“I tend to forget they’re there.” Brett admits with a sheepish grin. “But that wasn’t the question. What would you get?” He asks again. Josh leans back from his phone for a moment, nose scrunching as he thinks it over. 

“Probably...hm....maybe a...” he lets out a quiet little laugh and murmurs something too faint for Brett to catch. “I don’t know. Maybe a flower or something like a paw print for one of my pets.” 

“I think those sound like great ideas.” Brett says gently. 

“And what about you? For a next tattoo?” 

“I dunno. I thought about maybe a quote next.” Brett says carefully. He’s had song lyrics in mind, but he doesn’t want Josh making any assumptions. The other man doesn’t push it, nodding thoughtfully and Brett exhales. So far so good. 

“Like from an artist?” Josh asks, eyes lighting up with interest. 

“You could say that.” Brett grins. He drops his gaze to the chat. “Josh, tell Brett about the time you choked at our middle school talent show...” he reads slowly, eyes widening. “Sorry-“ 

“Don’t be. That’s Lex. She’s posted that question at least twelve times by now.” Josh says with a low chuckle that sends shivers through Brett. 

“Well?” He asks, raising a brow. 

“I was in seventh grade. I was going to play guitar and sing a lullaby but...I got in a stupid fight with Lex just before I went on. She said I wasn’t funny or something like that, but it pissed me off. So I dropped my guitar, went onstage, and did the worst comedy routine of my lifetime. She was right. I got booed off the stage.” Josh says, cheeks turning pink. 

“Oh man,” Brett tries to be sympathetic, but a laugh escapes him anyways. 

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Lex made fun of me for weeks and my mom had to buy me ice cream to console me. I would have won if it wasn’t for my best friend.” Josh grins and shakes his head. 

“I’m sure you would have.” Brett agrees with a chuckle. It feels strange talking to Josh like this. He’d thought for sure he would be nervous and his insecurities would take over, but the other man’s smile settles something deep in his bones. Talking to Josh like this feels like talking to any of his other friends. There’s no pressure, it’s just two guys talking and swapping stories. 

There’s a brief moment of silence for a moment. Brett doesn’t mind, he’s taking the chance to study Josh. He has his head turned from the chat, clicking his tongue, and a gorgeous gray cat slinks into the frame. She meows and hops onto Josh’s shoulder, wrapping around his neck and rubbing her cheek against his. “This must be Liz I take it.” Brett says. 

“That’s my girl.” Josh says, turning back to face Brett. “She’s decided to stop sunbathing and make her royal entrance.” 

“She’s massive. Gorgeous, but I’ve never seen a cat that big. What kind is she?” Brett asks. 

“Maincoon. She’s my little killer.” Josh lightly scratches under her chin. “How she got her name, actually.” 

“Oh?” Brett raises a brow. 

“For those of you who don’t know, my cats full name is Lizard. She goes by Liz for short.” Josh’s cheeks darken slightly. “When I first got her, I thought she was the cutest thing ever. We were sitting by the window and I was trying to decide on her name and something ran across the glass and she tried to attack. It was a lizard.” He laughs, tipping his head back. Liz’s tails thwacks him in the face. “She went haywire trying to chase this little creature running around on the windowsill. So I named her after it.” 

“You’re such a dork,” Brett says. His eyes widen, but Josh only laughs harder and doesn’t seem the least bit offended. 

“Cass got his name pretty similarly. When he was a pup, I was sitting in the living room with him trying to figure out a name. My dad was getting dinner out of the oven and this pup suddenly takes off and I just hear my dad swearing and a crash. I run in and find my new pup covered in a casserole dish, crying on the floor while my dad was trying to get up from where he’d fallen.” 

“So you decided to name him Casserole.” Brett says, his grin threatening to split his face. “God, that’s awful.” 

“Hey! I tried,” Josh says with another laugh, his cheeks pleasantly flushed. “What about you?” He asks. 

“Nala is named after _The Lion King_ because it was my favorite movie growing up. I also had a cat named Simba, he lives with my sister and her husband.” Brett says. “When I first graduated, my first apartment wouldn’t let me have any pets. My little sister agreed to take care of him and when I moved again, I didn’t want to rip him away from his life with her. He’s happy and I get to see him every couple of months.” 

“She’s a purebred husky?” 

“I think so. She was a shelter puppy, but she was in great health and had only been there for a couple of hours when I got her. I took her home three days later. I wasn’t even going to get a puppy, but she stole my heart with those big blue eyes. I was actually helping my best friend get his boyfriend a cat and decided to go wander through the dog pens.” 

“Lucky to have you then.” Josh says. “Liz was a gift from a family friend and Cass came from my uncle. But I’ve always said my next pet would be from the shelter.” 

“Do you want another pet?” Brett asks. 

“I’m not sure. I think I’d like a second dog.” Josh says after a moment. “If you could get any animal and keep it as a pet, what would it be?” 

“A wolf.” Brett says without missing a beat. “I’ve always wanted one. Husky was the next best thing. What about you?” 

“I think I’d get a raccoon. Trash pandas are awesome.” Josh says, stroking the paw of his cat. “They’re just so cute and misunderstood. I tried to catch one when I was a kid. My dad was furious when he woke up and there was trash all over the backyard.” 

“Is that the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

“It’s probably pretty high up there. What about you? Any wild ideas?” Josh asks, grinning. 

“I...okay, there was one night in college.” Brett starts, feeling his face heat up. He doesn’t dare look at the chat, afraid of what his friends might be saying. “I was at a bar with my friends and I was trying to impress this guy that I liked. Decided to ride the mechanical bull.” 

“You _didn’t_.” Josh whispers. “How was it?” 

“Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.” 

“Your friends are saying it was pretty impressive. You lasted a whole...thirty seconds?” Josh’s eyes widen as he reads the chat. “I want proof!” 

“Oh no-“ Brett says. It’s too late. Sean comments without missing a beat that he has the whole thing on video. “You told me you deleted it, asshole!” 

“I wanna see!” Josh says, making grabby hands at the screen. “You should absolutely dm it to me!” 

“Sean, I will murder you!” Brett warns. 

“Too late! He’s sent it!” Josh sounds absolutely gleeful. “I’m going to have fun watching that later. Did you impress the guy you were doing that for?” 

“He and his girlfriend thought it was great.” Brett pulls a face. 

“Someone in chat says that wasn’t the craziest thing to happen that night.” Josh says, raising a brow. Brett is one hundred percent going to strangle Liam the next time that he sees him. “What else happened?” 

“If I tell you, you’ll judge me.” 

“I promise not to.” Josh’s lower lip juts out in an adorable pout. Damn him. 

“I...I got drunk and made a really stupid decision with my best friends cheering me on.” Brett says. He sees the comments come in almost immediately from his friends, all typing _tramp stamp_ with various exclamation points around it. “Fine! I got a tattoo while I was drunk from the one artist in town who didn’t care about my state of sobriety.” 

To Josh’s credit, he lasts all of ten seconds before he bursts into laughter. Brett tries to scowl, but the sound of that laugh brings a smile to his lips. “It’s not funny,” he mutters, the tips of his ears burning. 

“I want to see it.” Josh says, making Brett’s heartbeat kick up. His own cheeks darken, lips parting in what seems like surprise, and something in Brett loosens. “I-I mean-“ 

“I’m sure I’ve got pictures somewhere that I can send you.” Brett says to try and save Josh from embarrassment. “Although _queenoftheverse_ says she wants to see it, too. Along with my other tattoos.” He finishes as he reads her comment, flushing darker. 

“That’s Lex, my best friend. She doesn’t know when to quit.” Josh says with a shaky of his head. “Gods. I am _so_ sorry about her.” 

“Don’t be.” Brett says as Lex floods the chat with demands to see Brett’s tattoos. “I think I can appease her just a little.” He winks at the camera, feeling a bold stroke of confidence that he hasn’t embraced in a long time. He tilts the camera and tugs down the collar of his shirt, showing a hint of the tattoo across his collarbone. He swears he hears Josh suck in a breath and he quickly covers back up, clearing his throat. “Phases of the moon across my collarbone. Got it as soon as I graduated high school.” 

“Looks great,” Josh murmurs weakly. Brett wants to ask what’s wrong, but Josh is already reading a question from someone else. “My favorite performance to date? Probably when I did my first karaoke night at a local bar. The energy of the crowd was great and it was a lot of fun. There was no pressure to be perfect, I just got to have fun.” 

They get through a few more questions, things that Brett already knows about Josh from their previous chats, and before he knows it Josh is saying that it’s time for him to run and get a haircut. He pulls Liz off of him and she meows pitifully, annoyed that he’s interrupted her sleep, and Josh grins at the camera and waves. “Bye everyone, see you next time! Brett, thanks again for joining me and sharing so much of your life with me. I really appreciate it. Also,” he adds with a glint in his eyes, “you should try Mama D’s specialty cupcakes while you’re at her bakery. They’re my favorites.” He winks and the chat disconnects, leaving Brett gaping at the ended video. How the hell does Josh know where he is?! 

He scrambles to open his discord chat, opening it to find his friends already talking to each other. “Guys-“ 

“Are you seriously at Mama D’s right now?!” Liam is the first to exclaim. “What did you get? God, I miss her cupcakes!” 

“Liam, babe, you’re missing the point.” Theo chuckles. “Does that mean Josh has been there before?” 

“Or that he lives in town.” Mason suggests. “Brett, didn’t you say that he moved recently?” 

“He mentioned it in a video, yeah. Showed his fans that he was packing up and said he was just moving to a different city a couple months ago. But...he can’t...I mean....can he?” Brett asks softly, chewing his lip. 

“It’s not like he’s a hugely famous guy. He’s no Jason Mamoa.” Garrett says. “So yeah, he could _absolutely_ live in your town and you not know it. Besides, the area is pretty big. Explains why your paths have never crossed.” 

“Brett would swallow his tongue if he met Josh in person,” Sean snickers. 

“I’m still mad at you, jackass.” Brett reminds with a huff. 

“Josh will thank me later on your wedding day. You’re welcome.” Sean says, making a kissing noise. “Are you going to ask him if he lives in town?” 

“Fuck no,” Brett says as his other friends all say yes. “Guys, no. Seriously, I can’t. If he lives here, I’m going to have to pack up and leave town and I kind of like it here.” 

“He was totally flirting with you that entire time!” Liam says loudly, making Brett wince. “Are you seriously trying to tell us that you’re not even the slightest bit interested in actually pursuing him?” 

“He’s famous, Liam-“ 

“So what? You’re Brett fucking Talbot.” Liam growls. 

“He also named his pets Lizard and Casserole, so clearly he’s the pretty but dumb type. You definitely have a chance.” Sean says. 

“Not helping.” Garrett says sternly. 

“I need new best friends,” Brett mutters under his breath. “Okay. Even _if_ Josh lives in town....I wouldn’t know where to start with him. Do I message him and ask to hang out?” 

“You could start a little smaller than that. Ask him how often he visit the bakery. You guys could try and meet up there.” Theo suggests. “Take it slow. But from what we saw? We all agree that he’s definitely into you. If he thought you were just any fan, he wouldn’t have been asking so many personal questions and he wouldn’t have been messaging you before all of this. I think he really likes you, Brett.” 

“There’s nothing special about me.” Brett says weakly. Liam lets out an unhappy snarl and he shakes his head. “Liam-“ 

“Gabe was so fucking wrong and I’m going to murder him the next time I see him. Nolan, too.” Liam snaps. “Gabe was the lowest scum on the planet and cheating on you with our teammate-“ 

“Liam,” Theo cuts in gently. 

“It’s hard.” Brett admits softly. “I still can’t get him out of my head.” 

“You loved him for two years. That’s hard on anyone.” Corey murmurs sympathetically. 

“I just don’t want to get hurt again, I can’t get my hopes up. Josh...Josh is...” Brett can’t bring himself to say the words. He screws his eyes shut and Garrett immediately changes the topic of conversation, saving him from the onslaught of emotion. He throws himself into the new topic, getting up from his table and grabbing his keys. As he makes his way to his car, he glances back at the bakery and shakes his head. Nothing can come of this. 

\- 

The next few days make Brett feel like he’s walking on a wire. He doesn’t know how to handle Josh who sends him a message begging to know what his tramp stamp is. He doesn’t tell him at first, too embarrassed, but then Josh sends him a selfie and he’s pouting and giving Brett doe eyes and he can’t resist. He doesn’t dare send a picture, far too self conscious for that, but he does admit that he has a pretty lace bow crossing his lower back. He also does _not_ mention the tattoo on his left ass cheek. He definitely doesn’t want to admit that he got a second tattoo when he was drunk again. 

He continues to go to the bakery a couple of times a week, usually stopping on his way home when he’s had a rough day and needs a treat. He’s on edge each time he opens the door, breathing a sigh of relief when there’s no sign of Josh. The owner, Mama D herself, stops him one afternoon as she hands the bagged goods across the counter. “You’ve got a cute friend always asking about you when he stops by,” she says casually. “Dark hair, the sweetest chocolate eyes, and a voice like velvet. How come you don’t bring him around?” She asks, putting her hands on her hips.

“He’s been here? Asking about me?” Brett croaks. He coughs to clear his throat, cheeks flushing. “How often does he come by?” 

“Almost every day for the last two weeks. Always shows up at a different time and orders himself a latte and a cupcake and just sits in the corner and waits. I finally asked who he was looking for and he told me it was you. Are you skipping dates with him or something?” She raises a brow. 

“No ma’am.” Brett answers quickly. “His name is Josh. He’s a friend that...I haven’t exactly met?” 

“Is he stalking you?” She demands, her gaze hardening. “I’ve told you youngin’s not to talk to strangers on the internet!” 

“No! He’s not stalking me, not at all.” Brett tries not to laugh. “We’ve been talking for almost a month now and I know who he is. I’ve known him for years.” 

“I don’t understand a word of what you just said.” She shakes her head at him and waves him toward the door. “Talking ‘bout knowing him for years and not knowing him in person...make up your damn mind...” she mutters to herself. 

“Love you too, Mama D. See you tomorrow.” Brett laughs and offers a mock salute before he spins on his heel and heads out the door. He can’t wipe the smile from his face as he heads to his car. If Josh has been asking about him, maybe the others are right. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance that they can be friends. 

The thought of seeing Josh again has Brett on high alert for the next week. He makes sure to visit when he’s looking his absolute best, fresh from a shower at work and dressed as nicely as he can be. According to Mama D, he and Josh are always just missing each other. On his next day off, he throws on his favorite pair of faded jeans and a tee shirt that’s survived his college days. It’s definitely seen better days, but he has no plans and he’s only going to stop for a coffee and a cupcake that will be his reward after his three mile run he plans to complete. He slides on his beaten up sneakers and heads out, checking the time on his phone. He’s got a new message from Josh that he opens, a meme shared that makes him grin. He gets into his car and tosses his phone in the cup holder, hitting the road. 

He parks and steps out of his car, sunglasses going on top of his head as he makes his way to the shop. There isn’t a line and he breathes a sigh of relief, opening the door and stepping inside. Mama D lets out a squeal of delight and then he hears - “Brett?” 

He swings his head toward the corner, heart pounding in his chest. Dark brown eyes meet his and Josh slowly gets to his feet, his eyes wide. Brett sweeps his gaze over him, taking in the still damp hair that’s hanging halfway over his face. He’s wearing jeans and a tank top, looking as casual as Brett does. “Josh.” He manages to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth and takes a cautious step forward, hands going into his pockets. “What are you doing here?” He asks dumbly. 

“Trying to see a certain blue-eyed boy. You’re hard to meet.” Josh says, pushing his hair back from his face. “I...must admit, I was really hoping to meet you on literally any other day.” 

“Thursday not a good day for you?” Brett asks. Josh lets out a quiet laugh and shakes his head, biting down on his lip. 

“It’s not that. I just feel a little caught off-guard. Today was the one day where I honestly just came for a cupcake.” Josh says. 

“So you weren’t trying to stalk me today?” Brett teases, sparing a glance at Mama D as she laughs. 

“I wasn’t trying to stalk you at all.” Josh says, his cheeks turning dark. “Can I buy you a coffee?” 

“No need!” Mama D slides a fresh cup across the counter. “Brett’s favorite on the house. You two have fun getting to know each other.” She says, waving them toward the door. Flushing, Brett grabs the coffee cup and shuffles outside after Josh. 

“Do you also feel like your mom just kicked you out?” He asks, taking a seat at the table where he’d done his Instagram chat with Josh. The other man nods and sits across from him, wrapping his hands around his mug. 

“A little bit. I really like her and this place. It’s one of my favorites in town.” Josh says. He taps his fingers against his mug and tenses his shoulders, lifting his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so bold in looking for you. I just couldn’t believe we lived in the same town.” 

“You could have just asked.” Brett says, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Maybe. Liam, uh, suggested that I just try and find you here.” 

“Of course he did.” Brett barely resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Whatever he told you, you should know he’s a pathological liar and he’s the devil in disguise.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Josh chuckles. 

“Why were you talking to him?” Brett asks as curiosity takes over. He’s going to need the ammo for later when he’s laying out the reasons to Theo about why he’s killed Liam. 

“He messaged me not long after we did the video chat. He said he recognized the bakery and that we should try and hang out. I said I’d message you and ask and he said I should surprise you instead. I dunno how he talked me into it.” Josh says, scratching the back of his neck. 

“He’s crafty like that.” Brett murmurs. “Mama D mentioned you’d been asking about me. She accused you of being a stalker.” 

“I was starting to doubt that I’d been right. I just asked her one day if you came here often and told her I was a friend and I was just trying to surprise you. I don’t think she believed me for a second. She definitely threatened to kick me out once.” 

“She’s like a bear protecting her cubs.” Brett chuckles. “I...this is crazy. I can’t believe I’m sitting across from you right now. The video chat was one thing but this? This doesn’t seem real.” He confesses.

“It’s not how I imagined it either.” Josh laughs and gestures at himself. “I didn’t expect to be meeting you post-workout.” 

“Yeah, well, I sure as hell would have dressed better today if I’d known I would be meeting you. I was just stopping by for a quick coffee and a treat for after my run.” Brett says, his cheeks turning rosy. 

“If I hadn’t just worked out, I’d ask to join you. I miss having a running partner.” Josh tells him. “You run often?” 

“Two or three times a week. I take Nala on at least one run, but she’s not a great partner yet so I have to go alone if I want a real challenge. But I’ve got a 10k marathon coming in a couple of weeks and I want to run as much of it as possible.” Brett explains. “So I was going to the park this afternoon to run three miles.” 

“Damn. I can do about two before I call it quits. I’d be a terrible running partner for you.” Josh says, almost looking sad. 

“Don’t worry, I’d take it easy on you.” Brett teases as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “A little bit of training and you’d be running that third mile in no time.” 

“Good thing I know a personal trainer.” Josh says with a wink. He jolts slightly and releases his mug, tugging his phone out of his pocket. “Dammit. I have to go, I’ve actually got a friend coming over soon. I’m serious about the whole running partner thing. And hanging out in general. I still haven’t had a chance to look around town much and I’d love a tour guide.” 

“Yeah, feel free to hit me up on discord.” Brett says, heart racing. 

“I was actually hoping you’d give me your number.” Josh says, biting his lip. “Would that be okay?” 

“You’re not afraid that I’m going to sell your number to the highest bidder?” Brett asks. 

“Are you?” Josh raises a brow and Brett instantly shakes his head, eyes widening. 

“I’d never-“ 

“Then we have nothing to worry about. I’ll text you and we can talk about the running thing.” Josh says, unlocking his phone and sliding it across the table. Brett adds his information and nods, hitting save before sliding the phone back. “It was really good to see you, Brett. Next time bring Nala with you.” He winks and gets to his feet, grabbing his phone and mug. “I’ll see you soon.” 

“Yeah,” Brett murmurs as he leans back in his chair. “Hey, Josh?” He asks as the other man turns to walk away. “Why don’t we get the dogs together next time? Nala could use the social time and there’s a dog park close to where I usually run. We can make an afternoon of it,” he offers. Josh’s grin spreads immediately and he nods quickly.

“Yeah? I’d like that. I’ll text you,” he assures before he turns and heads to a car down the street. Brett can’t stop grinning as he unlocks his phone to a notification from Josh. It’s just his name, but it’s also so much more.


End file.
